July/August 2000 Issue

My most enduring island cheeseburger memories were staged bayside, where the benches were wooden, the tables lacquered and edged with rope, and the servers sassy. In that unpretentious, non-air-conditioned shack by the sea, the cheeseburgers squirted juice down your chin and tasted ever so slightly of the sea air that breezed through. Old Timmy’s Nook: It set standards for the perfect island cheeseburger.
    For a good cheeseburger is as much about place as it is taste. Certain places are more suited to cheeseburgering than others. Take the Sanibel Rec fields during youth baseball league, for instance. Now, there’s a place to eat a cheeseburger if there ever was one. And you have your choice of how you want it prepared: Dick Muench’s way or no way. I know people who show up on game nights just for dinner.
    The "Nook" was the ultimate and its follow-up act, The Green Flash (Captiva, 472-3337), immortalizes the Timmy’s Nook Hamburger (available with cheese, just like I fondly reminisce). The penultimate in the Cheeseburger in Paradise category, however, will always remain Cabbage Key Inn (283-2278), which claims to have inspired Jimmy Buffett himself. However, every island burger joint from here to Barbados makes that same claim. In fact, on his margaritaville.com website, Jimmy’s Cheeseburger in Paradise page does not include any of our island burgeries and traces the song’s conception to Tortola in the British Virgin Islands.
    "The overdone burgers on the burned, toasted buns tasted like manna from heaven, for they were the realization of my fantasy burgers on the trip," he writes. Which supports my theory: Cheeseburger in paradise is a state of mind.
    So basically, here, I am dividing island cheeseburgers into two categories: classic (in terms of preparation and the appropriateness of the cheeseburger ambiance) and designer (maybe Jimmy wouldn’t approve, but I also like a little creativity with my onions, tomato, and French fried potatoes). Some island restaurants offer slabs of both.
    I rarely eat a cheeseburger these days. I worked my way through college at the St. Clair Broiler in St. Paul, Minnesota, where I ate one too many super California bacon cheeseburger specials (sounds like a Mary Poppins tongue twister, doesn’t it?). Like Jimmy, "I now treat a cheeseburger as a treat rather than a ration." A reward after a long craving. So when I do indulge, the circumstances must be all in line, most important, the atmosphere. Here are the others in my top island 10:
    Barnacle Phil’s on Upper Captiva (472-6394) inevitably creates an inner struggle. After a day on the water, one somehow does crave something earthy and meaty and my first urge is always a cheeseburger when we land at rustic, cheeseburger-conducive Phil’s. But then there’s the beans ’n’ rice and grouper sandwich to fight for my acceptance. Solution: Every shipmate orders a different specialty and switches every few bites or so. This is considered entirely proper in cheeseburger etiquette.
    My brother has a winter home on Pine Island and saves up all his summer cholesterol allotment to blow it at Waterfront Restaurant (2131 Oleander St., St. James City, 283-0592), home of the 10-ounce Steakburger (available with cheese). But you’re craving seafood? Try the Surfburger–a steakburger topped with four fried shrimp–for an indulgent surf-and-turf compromise.
    Not only is South Beach (777 Gulf Blvd., Boca Grande, 964-0765) the perfect setting for a beachside burger, it does stray from the classic, most notably in my fiery opinion, with the Borderline Burger, set to scorch with jalapeño peppers, salsa, and cheese. The Surfer Burger sways Greek with condiments of tomatoes, feta cheese, and ripe olives.
    Are you seeing a pattern here? Casual waterside restaurants and ground beef somehow go together, incongruous as it may seem. It helps if the setting is a bit rustic, beachy, and of local hangout persuasion. On Marco Island, for instance, my pick is Little Bar (205 Harbor Dr., Goodland, 394-5663), which gives you a waterside and nautical atmosphere with your patty. Its rendition embodies the perfect classic cheeseburger. And what might that be? A firm, non-wimpy bun with character and texture, wrapped around a fat, hand-smushed burger, char-grilled crispy on the outside, oozing juices on the inside, and blanketed with something above food-grade plastic cheese. I prefer blue or pepper jack. Crispy lettuce, a hefty slice of red-ripe tomato, and pickles that are not crinkle-cut should accompany. Ketchup is the finishing touch, inelegant yet somehow inseparable.
    Of course the quality of meat figures importantly. At Doc’s Beach House on Bonita Public Beach (992-6444), the "award-winning cheeseburger" is derived from certified Angus beef and can be ordered blackened, or with bacon or mushrooms. The view of sailors and sunners on the beach comes with no extra charge. Here you can walk in wearing a swimsuit and jump in the Gulf to wash away the chin dribble.
    Backwater Nick’s (231 Capri Blvd., Isle of Capri, 642-5700) also brags up its black Angus beef in the Backwater Burger, served on a Kaiser with (be still, my heart) the option of pepper jack cheese. Overlooking the mangroves at the fringe of Ten Thousand Islands under a chickee roof, it is most suitable for cheeseburger relishing. Often under these circumstances, an ice-cold beer is requisite accompaniment, nearly as important as ketchup.
    Not that staring out at water is required for getting the most out of a burger. Take The Sanibel Grill, (703 Tarpon Bay Road, Sanibel, 472-4453), for instance. This neighborhood joint with sports on the TV and an easy-going tempo works fine for swallowing down a cheeseburger. You can even sit outside. Overlooking the parking lot is not quite the same as watching water goings-on, but it works for cheeseburgering. I know; I recently sank my teeth into its University Grill cheeseburger. It’s the first cheeseburger I’ve eaten my entire life without ketchup–a high compliment. Dressed in goat cheese and apple-cured bacon, it wanted no other complement. You can also get the classic version or the Pigskin, with bacon, cheddar, and barbecue sauce.
    Same goes for Gilligan’s (2163 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel Island, 472-0606). Like Sanibel Grill, it straddles the classic-designer line. Its just-hang-out air meshes well with its All American Burger (hand-packed, fresh, lean ground beef, promises the menu) topped with cheese. Slipping into the gourmet category, it describes a Blue Burger (with blue cheese, sautéed onions, and bacon), the Moon Burger (pan-blackened and topped with jack cheese on an onion roll), and the Burger Champignon (topped with jack and sautéed mushrooms). Even the patty melt goes yuppie with Swiss cheese instead of American or cheddar.
    Finally, there’s Cheeburger Cheeburger (2413 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel, 472-6111) to round out my classic choices. Here is where serious cheeseburgsters convene. In fact, one of the cheeseburgers is called the "1/2 lb. Serious." Evidently someone flunked math here, because the half-pounder is actually 10 ounces pre-cooking. And that’s nowhere close to the heftiest sandwich. The Famous Pounder weighs in at 20 ounces before cooking. In all, Cheeburger Cheeburger cooks five differently sized burgers, which you can dress in a variety of cheese, including blue, provolone, and jalapeño, plus sautéed mushrooms, onion, bacon, portabellos and other accessories. The secret to its tasty burgers: fresh meat daily from Bailey’s, the local grocer.
    Now, for a few honorable mentions in the designer burger category:
    Coconuts at Pink Shell Resort on Fort Myers Beach (275 Estero Blvd., 463-6181), which, by the way, is no slouch in the ambiance category either, does an interesting Chili ’n’ Cheese Burger. Traders (1551 Periwinkle Way, Sanibel Island, 472-7242) touts its half-pound Bailey’s Burger, topped with American, cheddar or jack cheese. At Sunshine Café (Captiva Village Square, 472-2600), the cheeseburger is oak grilled. Mad Sam’s (1375 Beach Rd, Englewood Beach, 475-9505) Mad Burger sports cheddar, sautéed onion, bacon, and jalapeños. It also sells Chili Burgers and Mushroom Burgers, the former with cheddar, the latter with Swiss. Hungry Heron (2330 Palm Ridge Rd., Sanibel Island, 395-2300) devotes a section to Gourmet Burgers. Among the most glamorous are the California Dreamer (jack cheese, guacamole, tomatoes, sweet onions, and alfalfa sprouts with salsa and sour cream on the side) and Heron’s Choice (sautéed with mushrooms, sweet onions, and provolone cheese).
    So, what, you may ask, is the perfect island cheeseburger? It’s that one you ate all sun-tanned and salted from a day at sea. Or the one you secretly bought yourself to celebrate your birthday. Or the one you shared with your daughter between dribbles and giggles. The perfect island cheeseburger is the ground beef sandwich slathered in stout cheese, just rewards, and sunny memories.

Chelle Koster Walton has been reviewing restaurants for magazines and travel guides for more than a decade.